Bouncing Back into a New Wealthy Normal
/I had originally planned to resume writing through the Charisse Says platform in June of 2023, toward the tail end of my maternity leave. Clearly, that did not happen, but it’s all good!
Well, I now have a healthy and thriving 18-month-old daughter named Cheyanne, who is the apple of my right eye. Her sister Gabrielle (now five years old) is the apple of my left eye. Second, God had a different plan for how I would spend the last 18 months. During my maternity leave, my husband was diagnosed with a chronic illness and then subsequently became very ill throughout most of 2023 and into 2024. I’m here now, however, because he survived. We all survived, and we are living proof that God is in the miracle business!
I have prioritized my family, my husband’s health, and my sanity over the last 18 months. The rest of my time has been channeled into my full-time Co-CEO position at Next Street, where I’ve been for the last eight years. I told myself that I would return to writing for Charisse Says, my side hustle and creative outlet, at some point in the future. If I’m honest, I thought that future would be much earlier. I’m simultaneously glad that it was not. I was not ready. But, here I am now ready to re-engage, albeit differently as a new wealthy normal.
That said, I’ve missed sharing my thoughts, resources, and words of encouragement with you. I figure the best way to honor my own longing is to provide you with my ‘Top 5’ reflections and resources during my time away.
God brings joy during pain. It’s not lost on me that I had a sweet infant and an energetic little, big kid during this time. These two precious gifts have filled me up with immense joy throughout a season of both tribulation and restoration. When I didn’t think I had any more energy, these two girls kept me going. When I needed a smile or hug, these two girls provided the lightheartedness that soothed many of days. Look out for the joys that you need during the hard times. One of the verses that I leaned on a lot during this time is: Galatians 5:22-23: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
Intangible wealth is tantamount for survival. We have been fortunate to have strong health insurance coverage, which has minimized our out-of-pocket expenses for a very severe chronic condition. Some of the biggest needs, however, were beyond money – they involved the investment of someone else’s time. Family and friends surrounded us with meals, extra hands for childcare or hospital visits, cross-country visits to keep our spirits up, their logistical masterminds to help solve our most pressing and unexpected problems, constant texts filled with words of encouragement, and righteous prayers. There is no replacement for the presence of the people who can hold you down. Your relationships can be one of your most valuable intangible assets. Call on them when you need them, and build them when you don’t. Furthermore, I sharpened my own intangible asset of advocacy during this time. You’re the best advocate for yourself and your family. I watched my husband sharpen his advocacy skills during his hospital stays, and when he was unable, I had to flex mine immensely. My mother, a retired nurse and health care administrator, encouraged me to always ask for the hospital’s patient advocates – we needed to call on them more than once.
Ruthless prioritization helps sustain your wealth. The last 18-months have forced me to be ruthless about how I prioritize my time. I had to come to terms with the realization that I can’t have it all at the same time. My family’s demands and my own well-being dictated how I focused my time. I got good at saying ‘no’ to requests of me. I also became more comfortable with letting go of my own self-imposed pressure to outperform in certain areas of my life during this time. I sucked at some things and that was OK. Ask yourself on a daily basis – what’s most important on this day? And then go handle that thing as this will guide you to where you should focus your time.
Everyone needs an estate plan. When death for you or your loved one knocks on the door, estate plans become important. Check out NerdWallet’s estate plan checklist as a resource. We did not have an estate plan at the beginning of our health journey – while we had a will, the estate plan is something we kept delaying, especially when we moved states. Not anymore - My husband and I started the process of an estate plan over the last six months. We are lucky because we can put things in place now. While we were going in and out of the hospital, it was not the time. Estate plans will save both agony and taxes!
Good reads are still good reads. In my train and car rides back and forth to hospitals, or in them during late sleepless nights, I focused my energy on reading. I got through several books – hardcopy and audio. Here’s my top 3 list (in order of priority) for you to indulge. More over, I hope they encourage you. The excerpts are from their Amazon book pages, and I’ve linked to them all:
Do the New You, Steven Furtick. “Pastor Steven Furtick speaks directly to the challenge of living out your God-given identity and calling. He explores and unpacks six practical mindsets everyone can adopt to get from who you are today to where God is taking you. These six statements are truths you can speak over yourself any time and anywhere:
I’m not stuck unless I stop.
Christ is in me. I am enough
With God there's always a way and by faith I will find it.
God is not against me, but he's in it with me, working through me, fighting for me.
My joy is my job.
God has given me everything I need for the season I’m in.”
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management For Mortals, Oliver Burkeman. “Rejecting the futile modern obsession with “getting everything done,” Four Thousand Weeks introduces readers to tools for constructing a meaningful life by embracing finitude, showing that many of the unhelpful ways we’ve come to think about time aren’t inescapable, unchanging truths, but choices we’ve made as individuals and as a society―and that we can do things differently.”
Where You Are Is Not Who You Are, Ursula Burns. “Candid and outspoken, Ursula offers a remarkable look inside the c-suites of corporate America through the eyes of a Black woman—someone who puts humanity over greed and justice over power. She compares the impact of the pandemic to the financial crisis of 2007, condemns how corporate culture is destroying the spirit of democracy, and worries about the workers whose lives are being upended by technology.”
So, there you have my ‘Top 5’ Reflections. Stay encouraged TODAY – that’s the focus right now.
I will be writing less frequently than my weekly writings before my maternity. You can expect to hear from me on the quarterly basis, approximately (smile). Feel free to also follow me on Linkedin for more frequent musings in between my Charisse Says newsletters.
